why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
