I want to stick my p in your. b.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
