Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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