Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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