watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
