I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
