My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
