So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize