Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
