I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
