She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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