Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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