I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
