I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
