i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize