you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
