I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
