You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
