i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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