GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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