so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
