i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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