Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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