He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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