i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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