Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize