Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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