So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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