I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just want to make out with him forever
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
