he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize