I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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