I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize