Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
