This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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