There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
