my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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