I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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