Screwed.edu
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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