seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
