Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
