So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is wine microwaveable?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize