If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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