he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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