whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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