omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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