I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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