Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
