She's JV to your varsity
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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