no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
