how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
