I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
