I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
