I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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