She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
