i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize