I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
