The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
