WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
