it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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