Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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