Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Randomize