is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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